2. Not only am I not motivated by money, I find money to be actually DEmotivating.

3. So, in this situation, what is motivating me to complete this work? Two motivational situations: what gets me to start, and what gets me to continue once I start. What gets me to start is the most mysterious/unpleasant. It is some sort of combination of fear/dread/shame/doom/not wanting to be flaky or let people down. What gets me to continue, once I’m in it, is the more or less happy hum of working with words. More specifically: I like to solve problems. More specifically: I REALLY like to identify problems. So editing the articles means I get to identify the problems, then I fix them, and this is actually pleasant. Sometimes it is hard to continue, but really, it is hard to start. It is hard for me to start right now, to finish up what needs to be done today. I want it all out of my life, and the fastest, cleanest way to make that happen is to just do it.

How can I tweak the motivation of the start? Entry is good, either here or in Evernote…that’s like a pre-reward…

Finding a healthy motivation to start feels like finding a good motivation to not spend money…it kind of boggles my mind. Not spending money is dry and boring, just like starting in on this writing work feels dry and boring. Actually doing the work feels healthy and virtuous, once I’m in it, just like finding a way to not WANT to spend money feels healthy and workable and like: whaddya know! I actually would RATHER have this thing that costs nothing, so I get what I want AND I get to keep the money. So it’s about: finding a way to want to start. Not starting out of fear and loathing (which is why I avoid it for so long), but starting out of….something else….which is….?