Feeling like I can’t get anything done. Like even the red x’s aren’t enough. Like some people have published many things and I can’t publish one. (I saw a web ad for a new book by Kate Dicamillo, children’s book author, and my impression is: SHE’S prolific, and about my age, wtf, but I just googled her and she’s 52 and published her first book, by the looks of it, 16 years ago, so she was only three years younger than me when she started. So let’s calm down.)

Part of this is because though yes I have accumulated three red x’s in the past three days, this morning for example I was awake at 5:30 and thought about getting up to write but then lay there daydreaming instead.

What does it take to get up when I wake up? What will it take to trade in the passive daydreams for the action of writing and making it real? I mean I *am* doing that, but how much more helpful would an extra hour in the morning be? A lot more. And the 5:30 hour is gold for the days I work, which currently don’t see any writing action because that’s the only time slot for it and I don’t get up.